sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
God I need to hump something, right now.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
