i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
