i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
