It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
