when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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