OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
