She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
