Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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