peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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