does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize