I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Can I color on your dick again?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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