she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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