so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
