I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
