Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
