i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
