What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
