I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize