Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
