So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
