just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
