Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize