it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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