i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My penis needs a shock collar
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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