If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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