You smell like stripper and shame
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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