Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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