Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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