Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
