Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
