Dude my mom stole all your condoms
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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