your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
