i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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