Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
