Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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