His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How does it feel to date your dad?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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