Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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