But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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