Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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