i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
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How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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