dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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