Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
