I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
