Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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