It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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