well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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