drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
