Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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