you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize