i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize