yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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