only if we run a train.
done.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
