The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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