her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
