yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
