He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize