I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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